So what happens now?

…Call in three months time and I’ll be fine, I know
Well, maybe not that fine, but I’ll survive, anyhow…
~from “Evita”

I’d like to be writing about the knitting I’ve been doing: progress on socks, beginnings of a wedding shawl for a friend, plans for my homespun yarn.

I’d like to show you pictures of my spinning lately, both with wheel and spindle and to talk about the lessons I’ve been learning there.

But I don’t feel like being creative right now, or talking about achievements (however small they might be). I’m just down, and that’s all.

I’ve been a temp at this one place for over six months now, and have been getting some praise for the work I’ve done, too, yet have found out I’m done in two weeks. As a temp, I should be happy to get this much notice at all, and intellectually I’ve known all along that nothing was secure. Yet I had begun to hope, that I’d have a real job, with opportunities and a decent salary, that I’d be able to stop worrying about having enough for groceries and fibre, that I could focus on figuring out what I really want out of my life rather than struggling just to pay for it at all.

Now, though, I can’t think ahead. I know things will be ok: I’m with a good agency, I’ll have another placement and rent will be covered just fine. I can probably still buy the fibre I want (and worry I need in order to get me through the workdays, but that’s another meditation for a different time). I’m just tired of being overeducated and underemployed. I want to live my life for me and for my future, not for the day-to-day. I don’t want to be a “temp” any more.

Enough of me — here’s Kelly’s newly-acquired cat:
Velcro the cat
The Clawless Mouser

Velcro being scritched
My hand for scale (I have rather small hands) — this is one tiny cat!

4 Comments

Filed under rambling

4 responses to “So what happens now?

  1. Your cat is so cute! She’s about the same size as mine….

    I hope your next assignment turns out ok. I remember temping when I just got out of college and feeling so frustrated. People would treat me like I was stupid (like talking really slowly to me and explaining simple things in detail). I did luck out and get a temp assignment with a company that liked me enough to create another position for me, though, so hopefully something like that will happen to you soon!

    Hang in there — I totally understand how you feel!

  2. itsirk.enaad

    How cute is that cat – she has to be a great distraction. Welcome to the world of overqualified and underpaid…I know it well ;) Hang in there – knit and knit and knit and cuddle that kitty!

  3. Em

    The kitty is indeed uber-cute — but she’s not mine! (I just get The Horribles). This one is Kelly’s now, and for full details you can read her story over at She Who Measures.

  4. Kelly

    I’m sorry you’re sad. :( If it helps, (which it doesn’t, unless I’m right) I’m feeling determinedly optimistic about your situation. For no good reason at all, admittedly, but never mind that. It Will Be Fine. Dammit.
    In the sucky meantime, hang in there and know your friends are wishing you well!

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